Happy Spring folks! Longer, brighter days are ahead of us and I’m finally here with an update!

I know I said in my last post that I hoped to blog at least once a month, but then I blinked and it was April! Plus sometimes I struggle with what to write about. It’s true I can ramble about pretty much any old thing, but that’s also something that holds me back sometimes. Maybe I should let my fear of the ramble go and unleash it upon the internet for the few who kindly come to read what I have to say? (Something I might thank myself for in the future perhaps?)

While I have been working on most of the goals I set out in my last post, today I want to focus on the most fun one by far - trying as many new kinds of fruit as I can!

A kind reader (and coworker), Gord, has been a huge help in this department! In fact, three of the four new fruits I tried were left on my desk at the office by him!

First, we have kumquats. These small orange fruit are a citrus native to China. They were really tasty, I just washed them, removed the little stem and then ate the whole thing. They’re sweet and citrusy. Gord said that they’re great in a gin and tonic, but I never got around to trying that - but it’s definitely something to keep in mind for the summer ;)
Verdict - would definitely eat again

Next is the pomelo. It kind of looks like a giant grapefruit, which makes sense, since it kind of tastes like one too. It’s also native to Southeast and East Asia. The one I tried was a golden, or yellow pomelo. As you can see in the picture below, it has a very thick pith around the fruit. Gord warned me to make sure that I removed as much of the white pith as I possibly could before eating, as it was extremely bitter (can confirm) and then peel the segments to enjoy the fruit inside. Now, I’ll be honest, I’m not a huge grapefruit (the fruit) fan. I really like grapefruit-flavoured things, but I find the fruit itself a bit too sour to enjoy on its own, so for me pomelo was like the most ideal version of grapefruit! All the grapefruit-ish flavour, none of the bitterness (unless you got that pith)! It was also mentioned that pomelo was really good in salads, which I can totally see, so I’m looking forward to trying some in my summer salad season.
Verdict - would definitely eat again

I went to Seattle at the end of February for Emerald City Comic Con and while we were in a Whole Foods grabbing some snacks, I came upon this guy: the sumo citrus, or dekopon, so I picked one up to try. These are oversized mandarins from Japan that (according to their website) are known for their sweetness, size and ‘top-knot’. Since we were staying in a hotel, I didn’t have a sharp enough knife to get a nice cr0ss-section or a big enough surface to take a nice picture once it was peeled. It feels silly to say it was a disappointment, but after the kumquat and pomelo - which were both new flavours, it was a bit of a let-down since it just tasted like an orange. I didn’t even find it particularly sweet, just like a mandarin that we would eat at Christmastime, with a harder-to-remove peel.
Verdict: wouldn’t go out of my way to buy, but would eat again

My final new fruit update for this go-round is the kirin (also courtesy of Gord), also known as a yellow dragonfruit. It’s a cactus species that’s native to South America, and slightly smaller than the ‘normal’ pink dragonfruit most folks are familiar with. Apparently this can sometimes be confused with other yellow dragonfruit cultivars that aren’t actually related to the kirin (such as the Aussie Gold - one to add to the to-try list) but I digress. It’s full of fibre and vitamin C, but more importantly, it was DELICIOUS. I cut through the skin to reveal the distinctive white with black specks interior and then just cut it into discs to eat, peeling the skin off first. The flesh is succulent and sweet with a nice floral-y vibe. If these weren’t so dang pricey (I looked it up ‘cause it so good) I think I would eat them quite often.
Verdict: 100% would eat again!

I already have a few more fruits to try, so I’ll be back with more updates on this one soon. This is, by far, one of the most fun to do ‘goals’ I’ve set for myself in a long time, I wish I could thank whichever random person on IG I found the idea from! Do you know of an interesting fruit I should try? Let me know!!

And one last time, huge shout out to Gord for being my new fruit enabler ;)

For those of you who haven’t seen Neicy Nash’s viral Emmy speech, have a peek here. This, right here, is the energy I want to bring for myself in 2024. I don’t know about you, but the last couple of years have been tough. Living through a global pandemic took a lot out of all of us, and I thought 2023 was going to be my ‘get back to normal’ year, but really, what even is normal anymore? It's time to redefine the word, I think, and create the normal I want for myself, and I think the normal I want is more like Neicy’s, “Go on girl with your bad self you did that!” Okay, it rolls off her tongue MUCH better than mine, lol, but I think you get the point. Working to create a life I can be proud of, even if I don’t win any awards for it. So, with that in mind, I’ve taken the month of January to do some test runs and figure out what that looks like for me, and what goals I think might help me thank me, not just when the end of December 2024 rolls around, but into 2025 and beyond!

• Blog at least once a month - despite my incredibly spotty history, it is something I really enjoy doing (and this goal is also why this post is coming out on Jan 31 ;) )

• Develop a better reading/nighttime routine. I used to read before bed a lot when I was younger, and I’ve fallen out of practice. Also, despite having about a gazillion books on my TBR I only read 12 books last year. TWELVE! One a month! Although, in keeping things realistic, I made my goodreads.com goal for 2024 12 as well, you know, to make things attainable.

• Collect postcards from every city/town I visit. I already kind of have been doing this, but I’m going to make a more concerted effort.

• Try as many types of fruit as possible - I 100% stole this from someone on Instagram, ‘cause I thought it sounded super fun. Also, I love a goal that’s about doing something more.

• Watch a movie off of “The Neverending Movie List” every week. What’s The Neverending Movie List you ask? Well, since 2017, I’ve been keeping a spreadsheet of all the movies that have come out that I’ve been remotely interested in watching. There are 473 movies on that list up until the end of Dec 2023. This seems like a no-brainer. I love movies. I have this list. Time to watch some more movies off this list.

• Develop a better hair/skin routine. I’m over 40 now (Jesus, that is still mindblowing to say), time to really take my skincare seriously. I’ve chatted with my BFF Alicen, who, of the folks I know, knows the most about skincare, and got some recommendations to add to the regime. Also, my hair has changed a lot in the last few years, and I need to re-learn how to take care of it.

• In the same vein, it’s time to retake control of my physical health, so I’m going to try one new exercise-y thing at least once a quarter. If you follow me on Instagram, you know that January was all about yoga, and it’s made me feel so good. I think February’s going to get my up off the mat and out doing some cardio.

  and finally,

• Get better at juggling.

Sure, some of these are fun and silly (have we met?) and some are more ‘serious’, but isn’t that what life should be? Some of these things are easier to measure than others, but I’m hoping that putting them out there (or here, on my blog as the case may be) will encourage me to keep up with them as 2024 rolls on! So, here we gooooo! See you next month, promise!

Okay! Before we talk about some business that’s risqué, let’s talk domestic versus international gross! I’ve talked to some friends about my top 10 list as compared to theirs, and unsurprisingly, domestic vs international makes a big difference! I’m using the domestic gross for 1983, but as my luck would have it if I’d used the international gross, I would have saved myself from watching Vacation (it was #11) and would have added Terms of Endearment (#2 international, #22! domestic), but oh well, it is what it is. Moving on to today’s review!

#8 Risky Business
Released: August 5, 1983
Gross: $63,541,777
Have I seen this movie before? Nope

Of course, I was familiar with Tom Cruise dancing in his underwear, but apart from that, I’m ashamed to admit I had no idea what this movie was about. To boil it down pretty simply, when Joel’s (Tom Cruise) parents go out of town, his friend Miles tells him he should live it up a bit before he goes off to college. Joel’s version of this is raiding the liquor cabinet, dancing in his underwear around the house and joyriding his dad’s fancy car. Apparently, Miles thinks this is far too tame and calls a sex worker, Jackie, to visit Joel. Now, I have to hand it to the movie; when Joel finds this out and that Jackie is trans (or at least a man in women’s clothing - it’s not made clear how they identify), he isn’t disgusted, more embarrassed that they’ve made the trip out for nothing. So much so that Joel pays Jackie for their time, and in return, Jackie gives Joel the number of someone who’s probably more up his alley, Lana (Rebecca DeMornay - who I’m more familiar with from 1993’s Three Musketeers). It turns out that Lana sure is up Joel’s alley, but she’s also very pricey, a lot more than the money his parents left him when they went away (and I have a feeling they were thinking more along the lines of pizza). So he leaves her, this woman he literally just met, alone in his fancy Chicago suburb home to go cash a savings bond to pay her. Guys. Like, I know it’s a movie, and it’s set in the 80s, but do you know anyone who would leave a complete stranger alone in their house?! He could have easily had her come with him to the bank! But then again, her being left alone leads her to steal Joel’s mother’s fancy crystal egg, which is the driving force for all the drama to follow, BUT WHO DOES THIS?!

ANYWAYS. Moving on from that big ol’ plot hole, Joel finds himself enamoured with Lana, despite her thieving ways and decides to let her stay at his house while trying to figure out to get the egg back from under her pimp’s roof. Instead, he angers the pimp, and then, after a night out with Lana and a couple friends he knocks his dad’s Porsche into Lake Michigan. When he finds out how much it will cost to fix the Porsche (a lot more than he has in bonds) in a ‘that escalated quickly’ kind of moment, he and Lana decide to turn his house into a brothel for a night to make the money to pay for the repairs. The night’s a huge success, but when he gets back from picking up the car up from the mechanic his house is devoid of furniture. Needless to say, Lana’s pimp is pretty mad at Joel, so in maybe the prettiest move of all time he steals all of his furniture and forces him to buy it back - good thing the brothel was such a hit, ‘cause Joel uses the last of the profits to return his house to normal before his parents get back from their trip.

I don’t know folks, this movie was pretty good, but I clearly wasn’t the target audience. That being said, it has a fair amount of humour, a great soundtrack, some jabs at Reagan-era greed and classism, and a few great, ‘OMG IS THAT?! moments’ - particularly with Joe Pantaliano and Bronson Pinchot.

Here we go again! In honour of my upcoming 40th birthday, I’ve decided to watch the top ten movies that came out the year I was born. If you read my last review, you know that it didn’t start off on the greatest note. National Lampoon’s Vacation was NOT a hit for me. Moving on to #9, Mr. Mom, I’ll admit I didn’t have particularly high hopes, but I was sure it couldn’t be nearly as bad as #10. (Spoiler alert, I was right)

So, #9 Mr. Mom
Released: July 22, 1983
Gross: $63,090,965
Have I seen this movie before? Nope

Okay, so quick synopsis for those of you, like me, who maybe haven’t seen Mr. Mom. Jack (Keaton) and Caroline (Garr) live in Detroit, where he’s an automotive engineer in Detroit, and she’s a stay-at-home mom for their three kids. When Jack gets furloughed from his job and can’t find another, Caroline, who went to school for and previously worked in advertising, returns to the workforce.

After Vacation, this was a huge step up. Keaton is very charming, and Jack actually likes his wife, Caroline. I appreciate that he didn’t seem overly sulky that he had become a stay-at-home dad, more frustrated that he couldn’t get another job, and didn’t resent his wife for being able to. It was more of a general frustration that he seemed oblivious about basic chores like laundry and feeding his kids. Hijinks come from when he gets addicted to soap operas and forms a poker night with the other stay-at-home moms. However, after some stumbles, he hits his stride as a stay-at-home dad. And let’s be honest, we all take a little bit of time figuring out new jobs, time management and the like.

My main bones of contention are:

1) Caroline called to have three contractors come at the SAME time and didn’t tell Jack they were coming. There was a plumber, an exterminator, and an electrician all arriving to do things on his ‘first day on the job’, who does that?!
2) we don’t get more of Caroline’s side of things. We get glimpses of her at work and know that she’s climbing the ranks, but that’s about it.
3) A weirdly abrupt ending

Sure, Mr. Mom is full of gendered stereotypes that were dated even in 1983, but it’s quite sweet in the end, and both Keaton and Garr are very winning. It’s a very ‘medium’ type of movie. Watchable, especially in comparison to #10, but nothing really to write home about.

In six weeks, I’ll be turning 40. A big ol’ milestone birthday! And earlier this year, I had this idea for doing a whole blog series about a few things I was hoping/planning on doing leading up to that milestone. But if you’re at all familiar with me and plans for blog series, that kind of…didn’t happen. Cut to the beginning of the summer, and I was like, I know I’ll do a blog series on the top movies of the summer of 1983!, but since I’m a procrastinator to the core, the summer’s now half over and I haven’t written a thing. SO, now, at last, I’ve settled on a theme for this ‘I’m almost 40’ blog series: the top 10 grossing movies for the year I was born. ‘Cause you know I love a movie, and it seems as good a theme as any, lol.

So, a quick Google search gave me the list, and I decided to work in reverse order, starting with #10, National Lampoon’s Vacation.
Released: June 29, 1983
Gross: $61,399,522
Have I seen this movie before? Nope

So, for those of you, like me, who may not have watched Vacation before, the rough synopsis is that Chevy Chase wants to take his family on a cross-country road trip from Chicago to California so they can visit Walley World. Hijinks ensue. Pretty standard family road trip flick.

My friends, this is not a good movie. I can maybe understand if you saw it when you were young how you might have some rose-coloured nostalgia for it, but I do not and I did not like this movie. I found it cringy and unfunny from pretty much beginning to end. Okay, there was a moment, right at the top, when Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) takes his totally fine car to get a new one THE DAY BEFORE EMBARKING ON A ROAD TRIP and Eugene Levy makes a fun appearance. One thing leads to another and they get a much crappier car, which prompts his wife Ellen to ask why they don’t just fly? Good question Ellen! Apparently, Clark’s been working so much that he misses spending time with his kids, which is sweet in a way, but wouldn’t be nice to spend more time at Wallyworld with them than being stuck in a car with them? Also, if this is an important family trip why does Clark spend so much time obsessing over Christie Brinkley as she drives sexily past him on the highway? I get it, for the ‘comedy’ of it all, except it’s not funny. There are a bunch of things that just don’t work out for the Griswold’s on their roadtrip, but the real topper is when Ellen’s aunt dies in the car and then Clark insists on LEAVING HER BODY IN THE RAIN OUTSIDE ELLEN’S BROTHERS’ HOUSE. Like, what?!?! This is after they strap her corpse to the top of the car, OF COURSE.

All of this was in service of getting to Walley World, right? But guess what folks, in the middle of the summer, Walley World is closed for maintenance, the whole park, for two weeks! It seems outright nonsensical in the first place, but even more bonkers is that this whole family would plan a trip there and not even make sure the park would be open when they arrived! I understand that this was in a pre-internet time, but I went to Disneyland in the mid-90s and my parents definitely checked it would be open before schlepping four kids down to California for a week and we didn’t get the (dial-up) internet until around ‘97-’98…

I suppose the only bonus is there’s another fun Canadian comedy legend cameo in the form of John Candy as the SOLE guard working at Walley World when Clark Griswold loses his mind and decides to break into a theme park so his family can ‘have fun’? And then it all works out ‘cause Mr. Walley also has a family he doesn’t spend enough time with?

Truly a baffling film folks.

Pros: John Candy, Eugene Levy, and Jane Krakowski (she’s a Griswold cousin, already super sassy as a teen), and Lindsay Buckingham of Fleetwood Mac wrote a couple songs for it

Cons: Literally everything else.

I know it’s been forever, and I do have a couple post ideas up my sleeve, but in the mean time, it’s trailer time! The trailer for the new Wes Anderson film Asteroid City just dropped and ooo boy am I excited for it!

A lot of Anderson’s regular cast of characters, plus Tom Hanks and Scarlett Johanssen AND aliens (maybe??) YES PLEASE!

Here we go folks, moving right into Phase 2 of the MCU! I have to be honest folks, it’s a good thing I established the ‘short paragraph and bullet points’ format in my first post, ‘cause there are a few movies on this list that I could have gone on and on about. Thanks, past Andrea!

Iron Man 3 - 2013, directed by Shane Black

I came into this with weirdly high expectations after enjoying Iron Man 2 so much than I expected to and was kind of let down. I think it has one too many storylines. And yes, I’m saying this knowing that Infinity War and Endgame are on the horizon. I don’t know if it’s Extremis, ‘cause that’s a cool story from the comics, and Guy Pearce makes a great baddie. I still don’t love the twist with The Mandarin, although I do love Ben Kingsley. Weirdly, for me, I think it’s this ‘it’s Christmas’ is the thing that throws me the most in this flick. I had to double-check its release date (May 3, 2013) to see if it came out at Christmas to warrant this strange plot point. However, there are plenty of things I do like about it. I think Robert Downey Jr. does an amazing job portraying Tony’s PTSD, panic attacks, state of mind, etc, after the Battle of New York. Great action sequences and Tony with Harley Keener is really fun. However, I don’t particularly care for this movie’s treatment of the ladies. Yes, Pepper gets her Rescue origin here, but Rebecca Hall comes in as Dr. Hansen, and while a genius she kind of gets reduced to ‘woman that Tony slept with once who then gets killed by the bad guy’. Not a strong look Marvel.

• The saddest is when the robots ‘die’ in the attack on Tony’s house 

• No mid-credits scene 

Thor: The Dark World - 2013, directed by Alan Taylor

The complete opposite to the previous film, I came into this movie with very low expectations, ‘cause apparently, the one thing everyone knows about Thor 2 is that it’s bad. You guys! It’s not that bad! I think that’s the thing with the ‘bad’ Marvel movies is that there’s still a lot of stuff to like in them, Jane’s date with Chris O’Dowd, (and Chris O’Dowd in general) adorable. Kat Dennings, still fantastic. Stellar Skateboard running around Stonehenge naked, genuinely funny. The whole aether thing is very confusing, and the Dark Elves feel a bit out of place in the MCU. Like, truly, they feel like they should be in J.J. Abrams Star Trek franchise, not a Marvel movie.

• Darcy: “It’s okay we’re Americans” Jane: “Is that supposed to make them like us?”

• That Chris Evans cameo though? Pure GOLD

• Renee Russo’s Frigga = underrated

• Also, add another notch for the Whoniverse! We’ve got a companion and a Doctor (Christopher Eccleston) now!

Captain American: The Winter Soldier - 2014, directed by Anthony and Joe Russo

I mean, considering my pretty mediocre feelings about the previous two movies, I was SO excited to finally get to this one. Anthony and Joe Russo have been a gift to the MCU. I love a good spy thriller, and to get one of those with Cap, Tasha, Nick Fury, Maria Hill, and Sam Wilson thrown in…I mean, this is a perfect Andrea movie. Getting to see Steve re-integrating into society as best he can, while Tasha gives him a hard time about it is gold. All of the Hydra stuff, the Winter Soldier’s intro attacking Fury, THAT ELEVATOR FIGHT, you guys, it’s just great! On top of that, you get that reminder of how Steve and Sam first bonded, as soldiers, who survived when their brothers in arms didn’t. I’m sad that it’s been so long since I watched this one, ‘cause I really love it. Additional thoughts:

• “On your left” pure gold

• This is Natasha at her spy-iest, and I LOVE IT

• Steve visiting the Smithsonian and old Peggy

• FWWGA addition: Robert Redford

• “Air conditioning is fully operational” This line when Fury’s vehicle’s being attacked is just amazing

• Agent 13 is so under used, I wish we got a lot more Sharon Carter

• WE HAVE AN Abed cameo! Just a reminder that Community is also top-notch entertainment (at least for a few seasons)

Guardians of the Galaxy - 2014, directed by James Gunn

I have ridiculously fond memories of seeing this movie in theatres. Packed house on opening weekend with a massive group of friends and strangers. And then that opening, Star-Lord dancing and singing his way through those ruins, you just knew you were in for something completely different than anything we’d seen in the MCU before. Kevin Feige knocked it out of the park yet again, by taking a Marvel property that not a lot of people were familiar with, giving it to a talented director (James Gunn) and letting him do a fun heist movie in space! (And boy do I love a good heist movie!) The casting is great, the story is fun and fast-paced, and we finally get to meet Thanos after him lurking around the shadows and post-credits scenes for a while. Plus, that soundtrack is absolute perfection, I still listen to it often. (and sing along very loudly to every song)

• Do you love early-2000s CW classic Roswell as much as I do? Then you probably also clocked the Brendon Fehr cameo on Xandar

• For a change we a ‘famous award-winning white WOMAN’ addition to the MCU in Glenn Close, well in addition to, ‘cause John C. Reilly.

• Doctor Who addition to the MCU arrives in Karen Gillan’s Nebula

• I actually recently watched this really interesting video that explains why Guardians worked so well in comparison to Suicide Squad when they have essentially the same characters and plot. Enjoy.

Avengers: Age of Ultron - 2015, directed by Joss Whedon

I had a lot of trepidation going into this one, ‘cause I remembered not being particularly fond of it. However, I was pleasantly surprised, and have determined that this is a movie that has benefitted a lot from what comes after it: Civil War, Infinity War, Endgame, WandaVision. Something I noticed (but clearly missed when I originally watched it) was all the talk of ‘monsters’ in this film. Natasha, Bruce, Tony, the Maximoff twins and Ultron all refer to themselves as monsters at one point (or more) in the movie, but since I’m not doing in-depth analysis here, I’ll refrain from doing a deep dive into what that means. (I told you there were a few I could go on about😉) However, the big thing that I took away from this movie (and especially as we’re heading towards Civil War) is the difference between Steve and Tony, just on a base level of dealing with the world. Steve was and is a soldier, he was on his own by 18 and has learned to trust his gut and intuition when it comes to people (he shows this on Sokovia when he doesn’t question letting the twins join in the fight against Ultron) and prefers to talk things through. Whereas Tony trusts himself, and he’d much rather ask for forgiveness than permission. However, he’s been doing things based on his guilt and fear and then has to deal with the world-altering repercussions of those decisions (more on this when I talk about Civil War) I’ll stop myself there, ‘cause I also have to mention that I FORGOT THAT ULTRON CREATED VISION?!?! WOW. Bad brain.

• The “Language” running joke through this movie is fantastic. I love being reminded that Steve’s a literal old man.

• “Please be a secret door, please be a secret door, please be a secret door, yay” RDJ gold.

• The whole ‘who’s worthy?’ of Thor’s hammer, and how it comes back around in Endgame

• Welcome to Wakanda and Hello! Andy Serkis.

• OH YEAH, Hawkeye’s family’s in this one 

• “I really miss the days when the weirdest thing science created was me” - Cap

• I love that Vision gives himself a cape because of Thor

• “The city is flying, we’re fighting robots, I have a bow and arrow, none of this makes sense” Hawkeye’s self-awareness in this pep talk is top-notch

• OH! This is when Hulk goes to Sakar!? 

• No post-credits scene 

Ant-Man - 2015, directed by Peyton Reed

It’s kind of odd that Phase 2 finishes with Ant-Man, but it’s hard to be upset about it, ‘cause this movie is so dang fun! Did you know that I love a heist movie? Have I mentioned that already in this post….? Ageless vampire Paul Rudd joins the MCU as Scott Lang, and it makes me so happy, ‘cause I just love him. However, it must be stated that the true stand-out of the Ant-Man movies is Michael Peña’s Luis. Sure the plot of the movie with the power-crazed Darren Cross is a bit bland, but I’ll take it ‘cause it means that I get silly fights with train sets and other toys. The visuals in this movie are fun and well-done, the big to small to big again is probably really hard to do, but it looks great here.

• Oh yeah, Peg’s in this! Hi Hayley Atwell, I love you!

• Definitely forgot that Scott has a degree in electrical engineering 

• Bo from Superstore has a cameo and all I can hear when I see him is ‘bo bo booooow’

• It should be noted that Judy Greer, Bobby Cannavale and Evangeline Lilly all join the MCU in this movie ON TOP of everyone else. It’s like Marvel calls and actors are like, “Yes.” no questions asked.

• Cassie’s devotion to her dad is maybe one of my favourite things ever. (it also makes me want a Young Avengers something in the future)

• Welcome to the FAWWG club Michael Douglas 

• “I think our first move should be to call the Avengers” You’re not wrong Scott.

• When Antony dies, truly devastating 

So, here’s my updated personal ranking as of the end of Phase 2. What does your Phase 1, Phase 2 MCU ranking look like? Comment and let me know! See you after Phase 3! Civil War here I coooooome!

Like a lot of people during the ol’ Covid, I’ve had a lot of extra time on my hands. Over the years I’ve made all these lists of movies and shows I’d like to watch, and then suddenly I had all this time to actually watch them. The ‘no re-watches’ rule I’d implemented for myself a few years ago, the one I did to try and force myself to make time for new things, sort of became moot. I had the time. I watched the things. Oh, I watched them. As a human who lives alone, and suddenly had her very full calendar reduced to work and not work, streaming services and I have had an EXCELLENT relationship throughout these past 13 months.

Amongst those things that I’ve watched have been Marvel’s newest TV forays, WandaVision and The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. And I have to say, they’ve been making me miss the ol’ MCU. A LOT. So, with Oscar-movie watching almost finished and new restrictions in BC, I’m launching on my first full rewatch of the MCU since I don’t know when. I’m going with chronological release order, and since I’m me and I can’t help myself, I’m going to be doing a personal ‘definitive ranking’ as I go. And since I’m a sucker for a blog project (that we’ll be lucky if I complete, coughGoTrewatchcough) I figured I’d hop on over here and share some thoughts along with my ranking so far.

Iron Man - 2008, directed by Jon Favreau

The movie that launched an empire. I have very fond memories of watching Iron Man in theatres. It felt so new, so different, at the time. Sure there had been superhero movies before, but none felt quite like this, and I think casting had a big part to do with it. Robert Downey Jr. embodies Tony Stark in a way that makes the two of them (for better or worse) feel almost indistinguishable. I also can’t believe how YOUNG he looks! I know this came out in 2008, but DANG. Baby Tony here. Other thoughts:

• I can’t believe I forgot that Jeff Bridges was in Iron Man. Launching the ‘famous, award-winning white guys as villains’ in the Marvel universe

• Remember when Terence Howard was Rhodey?!

• Oh hi Paul Bettany - right now you get to just record, but soon you’ll have almost the most makeup of them all! Muwahahahaha

• I miss incredibly dry Coulson from Phase One. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVED Clark Gregg in AoS, but seriously, he’s perfect here.

The Incredible Hulk - 2008, directed by Louis Letterrier

Poor Incredible Hulk. I can see how hard it tries, and honestly, I don’t think it’s as bad as everyone says it is. For me, it suffers a lot from ‘too much destruction’ syndrome. I get that they really want to emphasize the gamma monster of it all, but the Hulk and Abomination battles are just too long. Ed Norton isn’t a bad Banner, I like a lot of what he brings to the role. I also liked the humour here, and the nods to the comic and old TV show (Hi there Lou Ferrigno).

• In other ‘remember they’re a part of the MCU?’ news, Hi Liv Tyler, Tim Roth and Tim Blake Nelson

Iron Man 2 - 2010, directed by Jon Favreau (written by Justin Theroux)

As I was watching Iron Man 2 I was realizing how little of this movie I remember. Tony dealing with being poisoned by the thing that’s keeping him alive, the government trying to steal his suit, and Pepper being increasingly annoyed with him. Which, I get, I’d be annoyed too Pep - he’s a frustrating human being. However, I also liked this a lot more than I thought I would. I mean, Sam Rockwell does a lot for that, ‘cause he’s always a good time, especially here as Hammer trying (and failing) to out-Stark Tony. On top of that, we get the introduction of Scarlett Johanssen’s Natasha Romanov! Considering how much of a badass she gets to be here, particularly in the fight at the Hammer compound, it’s really baffling that it’s taken a full decade to get her solo movie.

• Elon Musk has a cameo in this

• Hi Don Cheadle!

• Add Rockwell and Mickey Rourke to the ‘famous award-winning white guys’ list!

Thor - 2011, directed by Kenneth Branagh

Here’s the thing with Thor, yes, it has its fair share of issues, Chris Hemsworth’s too-blond eyebrows being the tip of that iceberg, but it’s still our first venture into the ‘cosmic’ part of the MCU, and for that, I think we have to give it some credit. I think Branagh does a pretty good job introducing us to the ‘science magic’ of the MCU. Sure, I think he makes Asgard a bit too ‘Shakespeare’, but it sort of works. Hemsworth and Natalie Portman are sweet, but I don’t quite buy their love story. Although, I do love Jane Foster, and I’m happy she’s here (and coming back for Thor: Love & Thunder) Last, but not least, we get the introduction of Tom Hiddleston’s Loki, which, wow, I bet they didn’t know how much he’d blow up after this.

• FAWWG addition: Anthony Hopkins

• All the dudes knowing that Sif is the best warrior of them all - again, why did we have to wait until 2019 to get the first female solo flick?

• Kat Dennings and Stellan Skarsgard are an absolute joy

• Oh hi there Hawkeye

• Hemsworth gives good torso folks. (For more excellent torso work, may I recommend The Legend of Tarzan starring another Skarsgard, Alexander)

Captain America: The First Avenger - 2011, directed by Joe Johnston

I have very fond memories of seeing this with Craig Kerbrat in San Diego one year when we didn’t have passes for that day at SDCC. A large selling point being that the movie theatre would be air-conditioned. We were Canadians in southern California in late July, there’s only so much heat we could handle at once. I have a huge soft spot in my heart for this flick. Watching The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Erksine’s (one of several FAWWG additions here, Stanley Tucci) insistence on finding the right person for the super soldier program makes SO much more sense. Steve' Rogers is just a good guy, he wants to join the army, not for fame or glory, or to ‘to kill Nazis’, it’s because he ”doesn’t like bullies”. Casting in the MCU continues to be spot-on, I know they pursued Chris Evans for this role, and I’m happy he accepted, ‘cause he’s spot-on as Cap. We also get Hayley Atwell as Peggy Carter, I love her with every fibre of my being and would recommend everyone to watch her stand-alone series (Agent Carter). Other thoughts:

• This is the Britishiest movie about America, I clocked Jenna Colman (Clara from Doctor Who), and Natalie Dormer (Margery Tyrell of Game of Thrones), plus Dominic Cooper, Richard Armitage, Toby Jones, and David Bradley.

• Science magic again!

• FAWWG: Stanley Tucci, Tommy Lee Jones, Hugo Weaving

Avengers - 2012, directed by Joss Whedon

Oh man, Avengers. Why DC decided to try and do their team-up movie without laying the groundwork like Marvel did still baffles me because while this movie is objectively fantastic, a big reason that it works is that we don’t have to do the origin stories for six characters. No, they just get to team up and save the world in spectacular fashion instead, ‘cause the film assumes you know who they all are. Instead, we get to have more fun bringing the characters together, showing their ‘powers’ in action. The banter, the action, the story, it all works perfectly here and is the best way to close out Phase one of the MCU.

• I’ll never not love that Cap’s primary weapon is a shield, it says so much about him as a character

• ALAN SILVESTRI! Seriously, that score! chef’s kiss

• Literally nothing funnier than Hulk beating up Loki during the battle.

How my MCU ranking looks after Phase One: (yes, I sure did make and colour-code index. cards just for this ranking)

See you after Phase Two!

In early February, we made a trip to The Garden in Strathcona. Like the first place on the list, Their There, I’d never heard of this place, but it’s definitely one of my favourite places that we’ve been to. 

Like their name would suggest, The Garden has some lovely greenery inside and out, inside the shop, there was a mix of small tables, short counters and couches. They also have an excellent selection of local goods such as candles, books, and accessories. 

This time, since I’d never tried one before, we ordered a cortado with our latte to share. For those (like myself) who don’t know, a cortado is a shot of espresso mixed with an equal amount of steamed milk. Cortar means ‘to cut’ in Spanish. The idea here is to dilute the espresso shot with the milk, but not add a lot of the texture that you get in drinks like cappuccinos and lattes. Their espresso, fair-trade from Argo roasters, shone through nicely in the cortado, and the latte was lovely. 

We tried the food on offer yet again and couldn’t resist trying some cookies before our breakfast food arrived. We got a chocolate chunk, and a ginger molasses and both were soft and chewy and just plain magical. I can’t quite remember what they called the egg-toast-deliciousness that we ordered, but one was a nice slice of bread topped with mushrooms and cheese and then topped with a poached egg, and the other was topped ham, swiss and a poached egg. Both were served with some lightly dressed greens. They were fantastic. 

The Garden has a really laid-back, cool atmosphere, and I really look forward to going back there once things get a little bit more back to normal.

My coffee buddy/best friend/all-around great human, Alicen and I were crossing an Oscar movie off the ol' 'to watch' list, and figured that was a perfect excuse to cross off a place from the 'ol coffee list!

Since we were going to see 1917 at Scotiabank downtown (remember seeing movies in theatres?! God I miss that), we decided to hit up the Helmeken and Burrard location of Elysian. Most Vancouverites are probably familiar with this local coffee roaster/chain. They're known for their excellent coffee and the fact that they don't have wi-fi. 

Incidentally, this was the only location of Elysian that I hadn't visited! It's attached to the Burrard Hotel and has a cool mid-century vibe. Plus, the people watching, even in January (thank you temperate Vancouver winters), was excellent. Since we did it at Their There, we decided to continue getting a latte and an Americano to share, along with a couple of items from their breakfast menu (we were VERY early for our movie).

Their coffee was great, no surprises there, since I'd been to their other locations, but I did get to experience a little more of the 'balance of fruity flavours' the Daily Hive article mentioned with the Americano (I'm usually very much a latte girl). We shared the avocado toast, like the true Millenials we are, and some perfectly poached eggs on toast with sweet potato fries. Honestly, I'm not really sure how avocado toast got so closely tied to my generation, but I'll take it, it's DELICIOUS, and the pickled onions and microgreens that Elysian put on theirs made it extra lovely. (see pictures below!)

Elysian has four locations around Vancouver. All of them are a little bit different from the next, but the throughline is excellent coffee and a wonderful place to sit and chat (although maybe not right now).

Waaaaay back in October 2019 (seems like an AGE ago, doesn't it?) an "ultimate" list of coffee places in Vancouver from the Daily Hive popped into my newsreader. As someone who both enjoys being caffeinated and lives in Vancouver, I saved the article. (I also have a tendency to keep lists of the best doughnut/brunch/sandwiches, but that's a blog post for another day)

Then at the end of the year when I was doing a loose plan for what I wanted 2020 to look like (spoiler: not this), I proposed to my lovely, coffee-loving (I' mean she has 'coffee' in her online handle!) friend, Alicen, that we pull out that list and explore our city, one coffee shop at a time. Unsurprisingly, coffeeshopcynic thought it was a great idea.

On a bright January afternoon, we visited our first place from the list, Their There. Situated on W4th in Kitsilano, this place was bustling with people and had a fun but chill vibe. We grabbed a little table and got to the business of ordering. Now, unfortunately, because of my very lackadaisical approach to updating this blog, this was six and a half months ago, so I don't 100% remember what everything was called. However, I think the pictures give you a good indication of the yumminess we got to eat and drink.

From my memory, the latte and Americano were both excellent, and the breakfast sandwich was awesome. Then there was like an eggs benny/hash thingy (you see it in the pic below), which was SO nice. Plus, we just had to have their cronut-y type pastry, also top-notch.

All in all, when the world opens up again (whenever that might be), I'd recommend going and checking Their There out!

It’s been a while since I’ve had a ‘theme’ for a year, or at least one that I felt pretty dang confident about. In today’s episode of Not Enough Spoons, my co-host Alicen and I talk about how we plan to take care of ourselves in 2020. As I describe my plans for the year, I use the word ‘mindful’ about seven times, so I think it’s pretty clear what my personal theme is for 2020.

This year I intend to use my time a little bit better. While I have no qualms or issues with having non-productive time (it’s SO necessary for me), I have been known, on occasion, to take that to excess. I mean, I think, if you read this blog at all, you’re well aware of my struggles with procrastination and motivation. And this certainly isn’t to say that I’m going to suddenly stop bingeing Netflix (or Prime or Disney +), you best believe I still will. It’s more along the lines of not playing on my phone while watching something, and maybe folding the never-ending pile of laundry instead. Perhaps sorting through the Rubbermaids I still haven’t gone through even though I’ve lived in my apartment for two and a half years or stopping one episode earlier to actually do my full evening routine. You know slightly better uses of my time.

While two years of My Peak Challenge have helped me start to develop the kind of strength I’ve always wanted, I still struggle A LOT with my nutrition. A considerable part of it, I think, has been the not-great relationship I’ve had with food for most of my life. Still, I’ve slowly been repairing that, and I’m hoping this year, being a lot less mindless about what I eat, should help with that. One of the co-founders of Girls Gone Strong, Jen Comas, mentioned something in one of her Instagram posts that struck a chord with me, ‘how do I want to feel after eating this.’ If you’re like me, when you eat a whole bag of chips, you feel like garbage afterwards, even though you convinced yourself it was going to be a stand-out idea when you started. Definitely not how I want to feel after eating something. I intend to be more conscious of how I want to feel after I’ve eaten, instead of listening to that part of my brain that seems to think eating all the things is a good idea. That part of my brain is wrong, even though my tongue might occasionally agree with it.

The last thing I’m hoping for in 2020 is to do a lot more writing. Yes. I know. Broken record over here. It’s something I say over and over and over again. However, I’m going to keep saying it. Because, in the end, I really enjoy writing, even if I often let it fall to the very bottom wrung of my to-do list. I’m hoping that you’ll see a lot more randomness from me here on the ol’ blog this year; movie reviews (after a long hiatus), things I’ve learned after a deep dive on Wikipedia (may as well use those as blog fodder), and anything else that tickles my fancy. So, that’s the plan for the start of this shiny new decade, trying to be a little more mindful about how I live my life.

Kent’s Beach at sunset on my birthday, picture Kate Dryden Dunn

Just over a month ago I sat down and wrote almost a full blog post that I intended to publish before my birthday (which is late September). And then the next thing I knew it was October 11th! September seemed to be one of those vanishing months this year. I think its disappearance was aided by two weekends away, my mum visiting for a week, three Bard on the Beach shows, and one visit to Broadway Across Canada. I’m sure there WAS a month that happened in amongst all that, but I hardly remember it!

Autumn is here, with shockingly clear skies in Vancouver and some perfectly cool temperatures. My sweater collection and I are currently living our best lives. Autumn is also birthday time for me, which in my world also gives me an opportunity to figure out a few things I’d like to accomplish in my 36th year.

I’m knocking a big travel/bucket list/epic adventure thing off those lists in November when I go to Africa, which I’m beyond excited for, and hope I have the presence of mind to post about afterwards (we all know my track record here)

I’d like to learn/re-learn a few non-essential skills as well. I learned to juggle in elementary school (and was even cast as a lead in a play based on my abilities) but I’ve fallen WAAAY off. It’s a weird, silly thing that I liked being able to do, so I’m going to try and commit to practicing for a couple of minutes every day. Maybe post the practice videos? We’ll see, Sam and Sandra are inspiring me to try and motivate myself via IG these days. The other thing I’d like to get better at is ukulele. I have this GORGEOUS uke that I can play about three chords confidently on. I have the instrument, I want to be able to play it, dang it! So, similar to juggling, I’m going to try and put in some practice minutes every day (maybe week)

Finally, that dang novel. Normally, at this time of year, I’d be gearing up for NaNoWriMo, but with the trip to Africa happening right smack dab in the middle of November, I know far better than to try and attempt that. I know myself far too well. However, I’ve had some epiphanies about my novel over the past couple of months, so the re-write is on….slowly. I might try and use November to be NaNo adjacent, and work on it a bit (maybe on the 30 hours plane rides?)

So, that’s it. Juggle, ukulele, novel. A few things to spice up 36, and make that trip around the sun a little more interesting.

A few weeks ago I was referred to as “the most fit person” in a group of people. And this unbelievable feeling of pride welled up within me, because not only did I know that they meant it in all seriousness, but I also knew that I’d earned it. It’s no secret that I’ve struggled with my weight for a long time, but I think what might kind of be a secret is that I’m more and more comfortable with the journey I’m on to be healthier.

My lovely friend Alicen is doing something for the next year called ‘The Happiness Project’, and this month’s theme is ‘pride’. It’s a tough challenge for sure, but after that comment and going back and seeing all the post-workout selfies that I’ve taken since February I was inspired by her to show my pride in my journey.

I’ve tried a lot of different ‘programs’ over the years, but in the past 3 or 4 I’ve done the ones that have made the biggest impact, not so much on my weight (although it IS better) but on my mindset when it comes to it. The Strongest You Coaching with Girls Gone Strong is where is started, a huge component is mindset, especially growth mindset to seeing things as challenges, and if I don’t succeed that they’re not failures, but opportunities to learn, grow and try again. It also taught me to love lifting. Learning that I can lift heavy weights and they’ll make me feel good? There’s nothing quite like the feeling of empowerment of knowing that I can carry most things people warn me are heavy.

I’ve been doing the My Peak Challenge for the past two years, and while I haven’t had some of the weight loss success that my fellow Peakers have, I’ve certainly gained conditioning, and that still feels like a win. The other big thing that I’ve learned is that I can do this. It may take me a long time, but I can still do it, slow and steady will win this race in the long run, and if I have to take the scenic route, then so be it. I’ll get there eventually, and I’ll be proud of the journey I took to get there.

You know that feeling when you’re supposed to be halfway through re-writing your novel and you realize you’ve been writing the book from the wrong character’s point of view? Actually no, not just point of view, but the wrong character’s story completely. Yeeeaaaah. Needless to say I think there’s going to be a bit of a readjustment to my 12-week schedule.

I think one of the reasons that I’ve struggled with this story for so long is that I, for reasons completely unknown to me, have pushed back at telling the story from this character’s side of things. I have no idea why, everyone who I’ve talked to about the story has always told me how they find her more interesting than my current protagonist.

I should be on ‘re-writing Act II’ of my NaNo novel according to the plan I put together, however, I’ve been stuck on ‘re-write outline’ since June…probably because I’ve been trying to write the wrong character’s story this whole time. Don’t get me wrong, I like his story, I think it’s interesting (obviously, or else why would I have tried so hard to write it?!) but this book isn’t his story.

So, back to the drawing board, and writing the outline from the correct character’s point of view and getting back to writing this story.

Well, I slacked a bit in my first week of my 12-week plan of working on my novel. However, I figure since I’m trying to keep myself accountable, I should share the things I’ve learned in the first week.

I’m re-reading the novel I wrote during NaNo for the first time since November. It’s….not as bad as I thought it would be? I mean, it’s not good, but I remember it being much worse when I was writing it. There’s a lot of work that needs to be done to rework my protagonist and the whole opening…and the first act. But there’s definitely the bare bones of a story in there.

I also found a free course on Reedsy to help me with my ‘bad with 3-act structure’ situation, yay Internet!

That’s about all I have to update for now. Accountability post done!

One of the main reasons I try to blog is because I keep hearing about how regular writing makes you a better writer. Well, maybe not better, but at least more habitual. More accustomed to sitting down and getting the words out and onto paper (well, screen).

If you’ve been following me here at all, then you’re probably well aware that I’m sporadic at best when it comes to writing blog posts. I did semi-regularly post that Game of Thrones blog series for a while, but well, I think my ambition far outweighed my current ability on that one.

However, I’ve been listening to a podcast called Before Breakfast for the past couple of months, and host Laura Vanderkam recently did a 5-part series on procrastination that really hit home. As you can see from the title of this post, I live in the kingdom of Procrastination, I’m comfortable here, I usually get things done eventually…

However, that being said, I’m secretly ambitious. I’d actually really like people to read the novel I wrote during NaNo. And get projects done around my house so I don’t always have projects on the go around my house.

So, to combine a tip I heard from Laura, who also wrote a book during NaNo, and a great panel I saw at the Creative Ink Festival in March, I’m posting my 12-week plan for my novel for all to see. I’m hoping that any of the few who read this blog will attempt to keep me accountable for this.

12-Week Plan

Weeks 1 & 2 (June 9-22): re-read NaNo novel and finish updating new outline for novel

Weeks 3-5 (June 23-July 13) re-write Act 1

Weeks 6-8 (July 14-August 3) re-write Act II

Weeks 9-11 (August 4-24) re-write Act III

Week 12 (August 25-31): final revisions on new draft

Sept 4 (after Labour Day long weekend): draft out to beta readers

Maybe I should be more specific? I don’t know. I’m admittedly not great at the ‘act structure’ in my own writing. I’m hoping have a concrete outline will help with that. I’m also going to add that on top of this plan, I’ll update here on the blog how I’m doing with the various steps week by week. Hopefully, that will keep me accountable to myself? (Probably not, I know the person laying down those ‘rules’ and she’s a bit of a pushover when it comes to deadlines - which is where you, dear reader, come in)

Sigh. I know I’m a broken record, but Ned. Oh Ned.

I get it, CSI: King’s Landing was more appealing to you than the tournament being thrown in your name, but maybe if you weren’t so outwardly hostile to everyone and more suspicious of Littlefinger, then things wouldn’t go so badly in the end. I mean, probably not, but hey, a girl can hope
At least he convinces Robert not to compete in the tournament, not just because his armour is too small for him now, but because surely someone in the Queen’s pocket would figure out how to kill him. I mean, his outward hostility to Lancel Lannister is probably what gets him killed a few episodes later, and might be why Lancel becomes one of the sparrows later on (if I remember all of this correctly, which I may not, as previously mentioned, I haven’t watched these episodes in an age)

Instead of Robert making a fool of himself, we get the introduction of Ser Loras, and oh man, I can’t believe how much I forgot about this show. All I can see now when I see the Knight of the Flowers is the fact that he’s Iron Fist, it’s very distracting. I’m sure I’ll get over it shortly, but man, that hair, that smug face. Littlefinger goads Renly about his relationship with Loras, which seems awfully hypocritical coming from the guy who’s lusting after a CHILD in Sansa, but this is GoT, so I guess we can’t be that surprised.
Anyways, Loras proves that he’s not just a pretty face by beating the Mountain, who then decapitates his horse (yes, I mixed this up and thought it was in the last episode, I watched them back to back, lesson learned) and tries to go after Loras. The Hound stops him and we get the first round of the Cleganebowl, something I’m SO looking forward to in season 8.
I enjoy later on when Loras and Renly are together and get a little glimpse that plotting for the throne comes from all areas. It’s shocking to think how many people want to sit on that uncomfortable throne made of melted weapons. However, it’s interesting to see Loras’ argument to have Renly on the throne, when he says, ”Where is it written that power is only made for the worst?” Renly is good and would, ostensibly a far more frugal king than Robert, who thought being king meant being able to do what he wanted, and leaves the running of the kingdom the small council as opposed to getting involved directly.
EXCEPT! When it comes to the Targaryens. News arrives that Daenerys is pregnant and Robert’s complete and utter hatred for the house that took away the one thing that he truly wanted, Lyanna Stark, brings him to a meeting to demand Ned have her killed. Assassinating a pregnant young woman a world away is a step too far for the honourable man from the North. It’s the excuse he’s been waiting for to throw in the towel and head back to the far less intriguing North. He gives up his position as Hand. We all know it’s a big mistake, especially considering what his wife is up to, but alas.

Catelyn heads to see her sister, and finds her changed. Apparently, spending time in the capital is bad for everyone. The image of her sitting up on that high seat, breast-feeding an eight-year-old Robin is QUITE the introduction for Lysa. Between that and the cadence of speech that both Lysa and Robin have just makes them so damn creepy. It makes you feel extra sympathy for Tyrion. Catelyn was unwise enough to bring him there, something that she starts to see for herself very quickly, but being thrown in that cell with no back wall? YIKES. It’s no WONDER the Eyrie is such a valuable piece of real estate in the Game of Thrones board game.

Up in Winterfell you also get another glimpse Theon’s increasing frustration with his lot in life. Oh Theon, be careful what you wish for. Things are going to get SO much worse for you. Bran also demonstrates some of the frustration that I have in Catelyn. She’s so convinced that she’s doing the right thing that she seemingly forgets that she has two young children that need her attention back in Winterfell, not just Bran, who’s recovering from an injury, but Rickon as well.

Back in King’s Landing, we get Arya training, trying to catch a cat. And if that’s one of the requirements for becoming a sword fighter, then I’m well on my way, ‘cause I’m an excellent cat catcher. However, her efforts due lead her to several interesting discoveries. Firstly, that the skulls of the dragons weren’t destroyed like Viserys thought they were, they’ve just been moved underground. The second thing is far more important, that Jon Arryn was killed because he started asking questions, just like his father has been. She gets the kind of direct proof of all the overt plotting that’s going on against the throne. However, she’s unable to identify the men, and stumbles over her words, and is ultimately interrupted by Yoren’s arrival with the news that Catelyn’s taken Tyrion prisoner.

In between this and Ned’s discovery of another one of Robert’s bastards right before the slaughter of his men, we get a surprisingly touching scene between Cersei and Robert, laughing about their marriage and how it’s kind of a mess. It’s two people who stay married for appearances but seemed to know from the beginning it would never be a happy one. Considering all her actions later on in the show, it’s so hard to tell if Cersei is sincere here, but I’d like to think she was. She didn’t seem to become quite so power hungry until after Robert dies.

Finally we get the end of the episode, the first true indication that everything isn’t going to work out for the family we so want to cheer for (even though they make so many bad decisions). Ned’s honour yet again is the thing that gets him into the most trouble, when he claims that he was the one that ordered Tyrion’s capture, not letting Catelyn take the blame. While Jamie may not be able to act out against Robert directly over all the small slights he takes against the Lannister family, he certainly feels like he has the right to defend his family honour when Robert’s friend captures his brother without just cause. Obviously, I think he takes it a step too far by killing the Stark bannermen, but then again, this is Game of Thrones and that’s how the game is played, by taking as many players off the board as you can at once.

The Mountain’s horse, decapitated by the Mountain
Kurleket, killed by Hill Tribesmen
Willis Wode, killed by Hill Tribesmen
Wyl, killed by Lannister guardsmen
Heward, killed by Lannister guardsmen
Jory Cassel, killed by Jamie Lannister
Four unnamed Hill Tribesmen, killed by Bronn
One unnamed Hill Tribesman, killed by Tyrion
Two unnamed Hill Tribesmen, killed by Rodrick Cassel
One Lannister guardsman, killed by Ned Stark
Three Lannister guardsmen, killed by Jory Cassel

image created by Robert Ball for HBO’s Beautiful Death series

Okay, if I’m going to even get anywhere close to finishing this on time, I think I’m going to have to start just giving thoughts and perhaps try a little less hard to tie the paragraphs together, sooo, sorry?

Going with the title of the episode, we start with one of the cripples/broken things, Bran Stark. He dreams of the Stark crypt and the three-eyed raven, something that makes SO much more sense now, seven seasons in. I definitely remember being very confused the first time through (something that’s clearly a theme with me and the early seasons of this show). It’s essentially his first warging, a sign of all the things to come for the youngest (at the end of season seven) surviving Stark. This is also when we first meet the sweetest, gentlest character in all of Westeros, Hodor. When Robb called him in, my reaction was definitely, “HODOR!” He’s the best.

Still in Winterfell, we see the return of Tyrion, and of course, the outward hostility of Robb towards him. It’s interesting, because I feel like Catelyn keeps her plans very much to herself, but she must have expressed some kind of displeasure at the Lannisters in general, and Tyrion specifically, ‘cause that’s the only reason I could imagine Robb would be THAT rude to Tyrion when he arrives back Winterfell. Luckily, Tyrion, being raised in his back-stabbing family and the courtly intrigue of King’s Landing, has excellent manners, and knows better than to poke the wolf too hard in its domain. Then again, he has no problem baiting Theon…which I wish everyone would stop doing, ‘cause even though he’s awful right now, I already feel bad for everything he’s going to go through when Ramsay shows up.

Up at the Wall, we learn how completely Jon’s already earned the respect (and fear) of his peers when Samwell Tarly shows up. He gets everyone to leave Sam alone, much to Thorne’s disapproval. I forgot how completely useless Sam was at the beginning of the show. Granted, he’ll never become the warrior that Jon will be, but does learn his way around a blade, is far from being the coward he claims to be. As Jon and Sam grow closer in this episode, we get a chat regarding their status with the ladies, and despite his good looks Jon’s a virgin because he didn’t want another kid growing up with the last name Snow. That surname’s sure done a number on him.
However, right after this conversation we get a glimpse from Thorne at how awful winter is in Westeros, where seasons last years instead of months. I mean, I’m from the more northern (really the centre) of BC, so I’m familiar with temperatures in the -20 to -30 zones…but then again, I lived in a home with central heating, and what Ser Alliser describes sounds AWFUL. No wonder those Starks are always reminding everyone that Winter is Coming.

Over in Essos we get sexposition (GoT does a lot of exposition during sex, it’s so strange) about the history of dragons and Westeros from Viserys. Also, it turns out I was wrong (not the first time, nor the last around here), Jorah DOES explain that he was selling slave, ‘cause he had ‘an expensive wife’. We also get Viserys being his continually horrible self, Dany invites him for dinner, but he incorrectly assumes it’s an order (‘cause that’s presumably the only way he can get people to dine with him - to order them) and storms into her tent and attacks her, telling her not to anger the dragon…Well, Dany’s had enough of this and smacks him (like we all want to). Later on when talking with Jorah, he asks her if she really wants him on the throne, ‘cause the people in Westeros wouldn’t welcome someone like him (someone who reminds them of the Mad King) on the throne. Dany’s no dope, she knows he wouldn’t conquer the Seven Kingdoms, even with the Dothraki at his back. Ah Viserys, everyone’s agreed you’re useless, the end is nigh.

Then we get all the activity down in King’s Landing (geesh, I don’t know why I thought these would be short posts, SO. MUCH. HAPPENS.) Sooo, let’s sum up King’s Landing in bullet points:

• Sansa already knows that Joffrey hates her, which sounds like a great start to a relationship.

• Ned’s starts up CSI: Winterfell and finds Gendry (I hope you’re ready for some rowing Gendry ;) and figures out the connection much faster than Jon Arryn did.

• Jamie and Jory bond over the battle of Pyke (that’ll be short-lived) and they mention Thoros of Myr and his flaming sword. Chalk another one in the ‘missed that one the first time through’ column.

• We meet the Mountain (well, Mountain #1) aaaaand he kills Ser Hugh in the most brutal hit during ‘Ned’s’ tournament (that he’s not attending)

• Sansa meets Littlefinger for the first time…and learns the Hound’s origin story - which is a nice reminder that Cleganebowl is still coming in this final season, I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to that one.

• Arya trains and Ned talks about the gendered future she has in store, and Arya tells him plainly that it won’t be the life she leads ‘No, that’s not me’. Sure isn’t Arya.

• Littlefinger plainly tells Ned that “Distrusting me was the wisest thing you’ve done since climbing off your horse.” COME ON NED! Like, when he TELLS YOU you shouldn’t trust him, you do? Ugh. Starks.

• Oh yeah! Ned also has a chat with Cersei about ‘killing enemies’ and I all can think is WHY ARE YOU HERE?! EVERYONE WANTS TO KILL YOU. Sigh. The inevitability is so blatant it almost hurts to watch him futilely try to be a good person in the capital.

Finally we get Catelyn taking the one good Lannister into custody ‘cause she trusted Littlefinger. WHY DO THESE STARKS TRUST HIM?! Sigh, so frustrating.

Aaaaanyways, on to the next one.

Ser Hugh of the Vale, killed by the Mountain

image created by Robert Ball for HBO’s Beautiful Death series

We’re three episodes in, so it feels like it’s time to add a bunch more characters to the roster! Granted, I’ll forever be grateful that Benioff and Weiss restrained themselves far more than George R.R. Martin ever did, but still, we’ve just gotten used to the pantheon of characters we’ve already met and they stack on another baker’s dozen in this episode. Yes, I know, most of them die…actually, I think all save one are dead now…Jeor Mormont, Maester Aemon, Ser Alliser Thorne, Ser Barristan Selmy, Grand Maester Pycelle, Renly Baratheon, Littlefinger, Pyp, Grenn, Syrio Forel, Rakharo, Lancel Lannister, yup, all dead except for Varys.

In all honesty if you told me that the Spider would be the last man standing of that group when I first watched this episode, I would’ve had a hard time believing you. He doesn’t make a great first impression, and comes off just as slimy as Littlefinger. Speaking of whom, seeing Ned almost strangle him in this episode is kind of awesome, even though it’s clearly one of the many nails Ned hammers into his own coffin. Truly, Ned is too good for King’s Landing. While he may be the strong, sensible Hand that Robert needs, he’s far too honest and honour-bound to really be effective in any way, shape, or form in the Capital. I have to admit, watching him make all these mistakes over again is such a bummer. It’s one of those ‘if he’s only played the game better’ kind of situations. However, for Ned, the problem was that he didn’t realize that there was even a game happening until he’d lost it.

Speaking of Starks, Catelyn is kind of the worst. I think I remember liking her the first time ‘round, but this time, well, she’s far more reckless than her husband, and Ned may not have a lot to help him in King’s Landing, but at least he doubts he can trust Littlefinger (LEAN INTO THAT NED). Cat on the other hand seems to think that just because he’s in love with her, she can trust him. Ummm, you married someone else, your first fiancés’ brother even…how does that breed trust Cat? She ‘feels it in her bones’ that the Lannisters did it, and sure, they did, but just believing that Tyrion would be dumb enough to send an assassin with his own knife? COME ON. Use some sense woman! Sigh. I feel like I’m going to be yelling that at her a lot this watch through.

At the other end of Westeros, we’ve got Jon, who’s been cruelly dubbed Lord Snow by Ser Alliser Thorne due to his highborn bastard status. He’s also clearly the best recruit the Night’s Watch has had in a while. Here’s where trusting a Lannister can be helpful. It’s so easy to like Tyrion when you see him being sneakily helpful. Showing Jon that little things, like learning people’s names can go a long way in a place like the Wall. And even though Jon is admittedly better than all the rest, it’s good to have someone like Tyrion remind him, that all his highborn status means nothing here, he’s just like everyone else. It’s amazing how far these little lessons take Jon over the course of the show. Don’t get me wrong, he makes some huge mistakes too (thank to some of that pesky honour he learned from Ned) but these lessons from Tyrion are super valuable.

There’s this interesting thread through this episode with people giving Jamie a hard time for ‘stabbing Aerys Targaryen in the back’. I appreciate the face that this is ‘bad form’ and all that, but they called him the Mad King for a reason. He literally burned Ned’s family alive, in the throne room, where apparently 500 men stood by and did nothing. And while I may agree with Ned’s cynicism that Jamie actually thought about those burning Starks when he finally killed Aerys, I’m not sure the outward contempt is quite warranted. Then Robert brings it up as well, Robert who literally started a war with the Targaryens over a girl and wants to destroy an entire bloodline because that girl died. Where’s the justice there. Jamie stops a mad man from being in charge of the whole realm, and he’s a bad guy, but because the crown’s on Robert’s head, the injustices he committed to get that crown are moot? Man alive, the hypocrisy abounds.

Finally, if people didn’t see Viserys’ death coming a mile away, then I don’t know what to do for them. Literally every single time he says or does something I immediately think to myself “well at least he’s only around for X many more episodes.” He was certainly the first character where I was like, he’s going to die soon right? (there were many more after this) No one can be this horrible and live, ESPECIALLY when Khal Drogo’s involved. He’s such a narcissist that he believes every single thing that Daenerys does is a direct slight against him. Even though I’m sure she rarely even thinks about him anymore, especially now that she’s carrying Drogo’s child.

Ummm, there were no deaths this episode. So, I guess we can commemorate that fact: First no death episode, well done Game of Thrones.

image created by Robert Ball for HBO’s Beautiful Death series