Okay! Before we talk about some business that’s risqué, let’s talk domestic versus international gross! I’ve talked to some friends about my top 10 list as compared to theirs, and unsurprisingly, domestic vs international makes a big difference! I’m using the domestic gross for 1983, but as my luck would have it if I’d used the international gross, I would have saved myself from watching Vacation (it was #11) and would have added Terms of Endearment (#2 international, #22! domestic), but oh well, it is what it is. Moving on to today’s review!

#8 Risky Business
Released: August 5, 1983
Gross: $63,541,777
Have I seen this movie before? Nope

Of course, I was familiar with Tom Cruise dancing in his underwear, but apart from that, I’m ashamed to admit I had no idea what this movie was about. To boil it down pretty simply, when Joel’s (Tom Cruise) parents go out of town, his friend Miles tells him he should live it up a bit before he goes off to college. Joel’s version of this is raiding the liquor cabinet, dancing in his underwear around the house and joyriding his dad’s fancy car. Apparently, Miles thinks this is far too tame and calls a sex worker, Jackie, to visit Joel. Now, I have to hand it to the movie; when Joel finds this out and that Jackie is trans (or at least a man in women’s clothing - it’s not made clear how they identify), he isn’t disgusted, more embarrassed that they’ve made the trip out for nothing. So much so that Joel pays Jackie for their time, and in return, Jackie gives Joel the number of someone who’s probably more up his alley, Lana (Rebecca DeMornay - who I’m more familiar with from 1993’s Three Musketeers). It turns out that Lana sure is up Joel’s alley, but she’s also very pricey, a lot more than the money his parents left him when they went away (and I have a feeling they were thinking more along the lines of pizza). So he leaves her, this woman he literally just met, alone in his fancy Chicago suburb home to go cash a savings bond to pay her. Guys. Like, I know it’s a movie, and it’s set in the 80s, but do you know anyone who would leave a complete stranger alone in their house?! He could have easily had her come with him to the bank! But then again, her being left alone leads her to steal Joel’s mother’s fancy crystal egg, which is the driving force for all the drama to follow, BUT WHO DOES THIS?!

ANYWAYS. Moving on from that big ol’ plot hole, Joel finds himself enamoured with Lana, despite her thieving ways and decides to let her stay at his house while trying to figure out to get the egg back from under her pimp’s roof. Instead, he angers the pimp, and then, after a night out with Lana and a couple friends he knocks his dad’s Porsche into Lake Michigan. When he finds out how much it will cost to fix the Porsche (a lot more than he has in bonds) in a ‘that escalated quickly’ kind of moment, he and Lana decide to turn his house into a brothel for a night to make the money to pay for the repairs. The night’s a huge success, but when he gets back from picking up the car up from the mechanic his house is devoid of furniture. Needless to say, Lana’s pimp is pretty mad at Joel, so in maybe the prettiest move of all time he steals all of his furniture and forces him to buy it back - good thing the brothel was such a hit, ‘cause Joel uses the last of the profits to return his house to normal before his parents get back from their trip.

I don’t know folks, this movie was pretty good, but I clearly wasn’t the target audience. That being said, it has a fair amount of humour, a great soundtrack, some jabs at Reagan-era greed and classism, and a few great, ‘OMG IS THAT?! moments’ - particularly with Joe Pantaliano and Bronson Pinchot.

Here we go again! In honour of my upcoming 40th birthday, I’ve decided to watch the top ten movies that came out the year I was born. If you read my last review, you know that it didn’t start off on the greatest note. National Lampoon’s Vacation was NOT a hit for me. Moving on to #9, Mr. Mom, I’ll admit I didn’t have particularly high hopes, but I was sure it couldn’t be nearly as bad as #10. (Spoiler alert, I was right)

So, #9 Mr. Mom
Released: July 22, 1983
Gross: $63,090,965
Have I seen this movie before? Nope

Okay, so quick synopsis for those of you, like me, who maybe haven’t seen Mr. Mom. Jack (Keaton) and Caroline (Garr) live in Detroit, where he’s an automotive engineer in Detroit, and she’s a stay-at-home mom for their three kids. When Jack gets furloughed from his job and can’t find another, Caroline, who went to school for and previously worked in advertising, returns to the workforce.

After Vacation, this was a huge step up. Keaton is very charming, and Jack actually likes his wife, Caroline. I appreciate that he didn’t seem overly sulky that he had become a stay-at-home dad, more frustrated that he couldn’t get another job, and didn’t resent his wife for being able to. It was more of a general frustration that he seemed oblivious about basic chores like laundry and feeding his kids. Hijinks come from when he gets addicted to soap operas and forms a poker night with the other stay-at-home moms. However, after some stumbles, he hits his stride as a stay-at-home dad. And let’s be honest, we all take a little bit of time figuring out new jobs, time management and the like.

My main bones of contention are:

1) Caroline called to have three contractors come at the SAME time and didn’t tell Jack they were coming. There was a plumber, an exterminator, and an electrician all arriving to do things on his ‘first day on the job’, who does that?!
2) we don’t get more of Caroline’s side of things. We get glimpses of her at work and know that she’s climbing the ranks, but that’s about it.
3) A weirdly abrupt ending

Sure, Mr. Mom is full of gendered stereotypes that were dated even in 1983, but it’s quite sweet in the end, and both Keaton and Garr are very winning. It’s a very ‘medium’ type of movie. Watchable, especially in comparison to #10, but nothing really to write home about.

In six weeks, I’ll be turning 40. A big ol’ milestone birthday! And earlier this year, I had this idea for doing a whole blog series about a few things I was hoping/planning on doing leading up to that milestone. But if you’re at all familiar with me and plans for blog series, that kind of…didn’t happen. Cut to the beginning of the summer, and I was like, I know I’ll do a blog series on the top movies of the summer of 1983!, but since I’m a procrastinator to the core, the summer’s now half over and I haven’t written a thing. SO, now, at last, I’ve settled on a theme for this ‘I’m almost 40’ blog series: the top 10 grossing movies for the year I was born. ‘Cause you know I love a movie, and it seems as good a theme as any, lol.

So, a quick Google search gave me the list, and I decided to work in reverse order, starting with #10, National Lampoon’s Vacation.
Released: June 29, 1983
Gross: $61,399,522
Have I seen this movie before? Nope

So, for those of you, like me, who may not have watched Vacation before, the rough synopsis is that Chevy Chase wants to take his family on a cross-country road trip from Chicago to California so they can visit Walley World. Hijinks ensue. Pretty standard family road trip flick.

My friends, this is not a good movie. I can maybe understand if you saw it when you were young how you might have some rose-coloured nostalgia for it, but I do not and I did not like this movie. I found it cringy and unfunny from pretty much beginning to end. Okay, there was a moment, right at the top, when Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) takes his totally fine car to get a new one THE DAY BEFORE EMBARKING ON A ROAD TRIP and Eugene Levy makes a fun appearance. One thing leads to another and they get a much crappier car, which prompts his wife Ellen to ask why they don’t just fly? Good question Ellen! Apparently, Clark’s been working so much that he misses spending time with his kids, which is sweet in a way, but wouldn’t be nice to spend more time at Wallyworld with them than being stuck in a car with them? Also, if this is an important family trip why does Clark spend so much time obsessing over Christie Brinkley as she drives sexily past him on the highway? I get it, for the ‘comedy’ of it all, except it’s not funny. There are a bunch of things that just don’t work out for the Griswold’s on their roadtrip, but the real topper is when Ellen’s aunt dies in the car and then Clark insists on LEAVING HER BODY IN THE RAIN OUTSIDE ELLEN’S BROTHERS’ HOUSE. Like, what?!?! This is after they strap her corpse to the top of the car, OF COURSE.

All of this was in service of getting to Walley World, right? But guess what folks, in the middle of the summer, Walley World is closed for maintenance, the whole park, for two weeks! It seems outright nonsensical in the first place, but even more bonkers is that this whole family would plan a trip there and not even make sure the park would be open when they arrived! I understand that this was in a pre-internet time, but I went to Disneyland in the mid-90s and my parents definitely checked it would be open before schlepping four kids down to California for a week and we didn’t get the (dial-up) internet until around ‘97-’98…

I suppose the only bonus is there’s another fun Canadian comedy legend cameo in the form of John Candy as the SOLE guard working at Walley World when Clark Griswold loses his mind and decides to break into a theme park so his family can ‘have fun’? And then it all works out ‘cause Mr. Walley also has a family he doesn’t spend enough time with?

Truly a baffling film folks.

Pros: John Candy, Eugene Levy, and Jane Krakowski (she’s a Griswold cousin, already super sassy as a teen), and Lindsay Buckingham of Fleetwood Mac wrote a couple songs for it

Cons: Literally everything else.

I know it’s been forever, and I do have a couple post ideas up my sleeve, but in the mean time, it’s trailer time! The trailer for the new Wes Anderson film Asteroid City just dropped and ooo boy am I excited for it!

A lot of Anderson’s regular cast of characters, plus Tom Hanks and Scarlett Johanssen AND aliens (maybe??) YES PLEASE!

Like a lot of people during the ol’ Covid, I’ve had a lot of extra time on my hands. Over the years I’ve made all these lists of movies and shows I’d like to watch, and then suddenly I had all this time to actually watch them. The ‘no re-watches’ rule I’d implemented for myself a few years ago, the one I did to try and force myself to make time for new things, sort of became moot. I had the time. I watched the things. Oh, I watched them. As a human who lives alone, and suddenly had her very full calendar reduced to work and not work, streaming services and I have had an EXCELLENT relationship throughout these past 13 months.

Amongst those things that I’ve watched have been Marvel’s newest TV forays, WandaVision and The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. And I have to say, they’ve been making me miss the ol’ MCU. A LOT. So, with Oscar-movie watching almost finished and new restrictions in BC, I’m launching on my first full rewatch of the MCU since I don’t know when. I’m going with chronological release order, and since I’m me and I can’t help myself, I’m going to be doing a personal ‘definitive ranking’ as I go. And since I’m a sucker for a blog project (that we’ll be lucky if I complete, coughGoTrewatchcough) I figured I’d hop on over here and share some thoughts along with my ranking so far.

Iron Man - 2008, directed by Jon Favreau

The movie that launched an empire. I have very fond memories of watching Iron Man in theatres. It felt so new, so different, at the time. Sure there had been superhero movies before, but none felt quite like this, and I think casting had a big part to do with it. Robert Downey Jr. embodies Tony Stark in a way that makes the two of them (for better or worse) feel almost indistinguishable. I also can’t believe how YOUNG he looks! I know this came out in 2008, but DANG. Baby Tony here. Other thoughts:

• I can’t believe I forgot that Jeff Bridges was in Iron Man. Launching the ‘famous, award-winning white guys as villains’ in the Marvel universe

• Remember when Terence Howard was Rhodey?!

• Oh hi Paul Bettany - right now you get to just record, but soon you’ll have almost the most makeup of them all! Muwahahahaha

• I miss incredibly dry Coulson from Phase One. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVED Clark Gregg in AoS, but seriously, he’s perfect here.

The Incredible Hulk - 2008, directed by Louis Letterrier

Poor Incredible Hulk. I can see how hard it tries, and honestly, I don’t think it’s as bad as everyone says it is. For me, it suffers a lot from ‘too much destruction’ syndrome. I get that they really want to emphasize the gamma monster of it all, but the Hulk and Abomination battles are just too long. Ed Norton isn’t a bad Banner, I like a lot of what he brings to the role. I also liked the humour here, and the nods to the comic and old TV show (Hi there Lou Ferrigno).

• In other ‘remember they’re a part of the MCU?’ news, Hi Liv Tyler, Tim Roth and Tim Blake Nelson

Iron Man 2 - 2010, directed by Jon Favreau (written by Justin Theroux)

As I was watching Iron Man 2 I was realizing how little of this movie I remember. Tony dealing with being poisoned by the thing that’s keeping him alive, the government trying to steal his suit, and Pepper being increasingly annoyed with him. Which, I get, I’d be annoyed too Pep - he’s a frustrating human being. However, I also liked this a lot more than I thought I would. I mean, Sam Rockwell does a lot for that, ‘cause he’s always a good time, especially here as Hammer trying (and failing) to out-Stark Tony. On top of that, we get the introduction of Scarlett Johanssen’s Natasha Romanov! Considering how much of a badass she gets to be here, particularly in the fight at the Hammer compound, it’s really baffling that it’s taken a full decade to get her solo movie.

• Elon Musk has a cameo in this

• Hi Don Cheadle!

• Add Rockwell and Mickey Rourke to the ‘famous award-winning white guys’ list!

Thor - 2011, directed by Kenneth Branagh

Here’s the thing with Thor, yes, it has its fair share of issues, Chris Hemsworth’s too-blond eyebrows being the tip of that iceberg, but it’s still our first venture into the ‘cosmic’ part of the MCU, and for that, I think we have to give it some credit. I think Branagh does a pretty good job introducing us to the ‘science magic’ of the MCU. Sure, I think he makes Asgard a bit too ‘Shakespeare’, but it sort of works. Hemsworth and Natalie Portman are sweet, but I don’t quite buy their love story. Although, I do love Jane Foster, and I’m happy she’s here (and coming back for Thor: Love & Thunder) Last, but not least, we get the introduction of Tom Hiddleston’s Loki, which, wow, I bet they didn’t know how much he’d blow up after this.

• FAWWG addition: Anthony Hopkins

• All the dudes knowing that Sif is the best warrior of them all - again, why did we have to wait until 2019 to get the first female solo flick?

• Kat Dennings and Stellan Skarsgard are an absolute joy

• Oh hi there Hawkeye

• Hemsworth gives good torso folks. (For more excellent torso work, may I recommend The Legend of Tarzan starring another Skarsgard, Alexander)

Captain America: The First Avenger - 2011, directed by Joe Johnston

I have very fond memories of seeing this with Craig Kerbrat in San Diego one year when we didn’t have passes for that day at SDCC. A large selling point being that the movie theatre would be air-conditioned. We were Canadians in southern California in late July, there’s only so much heat we could handle at once. I have a huge soft spot in my heart for this flick. Watching The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Erksine’s (one of several FAWWG additions here, Stanley Tucci) insistence on finding the right person for the super soldier program makes SO much more sense. Steve' Rogers is just a good guy, he wants to join the army, not for fame or glory, or to ‘to kill Nazis’, it’s because he ”doesn’t like bullies”. Casting in the MCU continues to be spot-on, I know they pursued Chris Evans for this role, and I’m happy he accepted, ‘cause he’s spot-on as Cap. We also get Hayley Atwell as Peggy Carter, I love her with every fibre of my being and would recommend everyone to watch her stand-alone series (Agent Carter). Other thoughts:

• This is the Britishiest movie about America, I clocked Jenna Colman (Clara from Doctor Who), and Natalie Dormer (Margery Tyrell of Game of Thrones), plus Dominic Cooper, Richard Armitage, Toby Jones, and David Bradley.

• Science magic again!

• FAWWG: Stanley Tucci, Tommy Lee Jones, Hugo Weaving

Avengers - 2012, directed by Joss Whedon

Oh man, Avengers. Why DC decided to try and do their team-up movie without laying the groundwork like Marvel did still baffles me because while this movie is objectively fantastic, a big reason that it works is that we don’t have to do the origin stories for six characters. No, they just get to team up and save the world in spectacular fashion instead, ‘cause the film assumes you know who they all are. Instead, we get to have more fun bringing the characters together, showing their ‘powers’ in action. The banter, the action, the story, it all works perfectly here and is the best way to close out Phase one of the MCU.

• I’ll never not love that Cap’s primary weapon is a shield, it says so much about him as a character

• ALAN SILVESTRI! Seriously, that score! chef’s kiss

• Literally nothing funnier than Hulk beating up Loki during the battle.

How my MCU ranking looks after Phase One: (yes, I sure did make and colour-code index. cards just for this ranking)

See you after Phase Two!

Wowzers. I haven't written anything since I stated my goals back on January 3rd...That doesn't bode well! However, in my defence, I've been pretty busy. I've been watching Oscar-nominated movies (and the Olympics for two weeks in February). 

It seems like no matter my intention almost every blog that I've ever started ends up being about movies (and the first two I started were for that specific reason). The reason for that is very easy to explain - I love movies, a lot. I watch as many as I can, sometimes with a critical eye, sometimes without. And every year, I do my damnedest to see them all, and more often than not, I fail miserably. In checking my spreadsheet from last year (everyone has Awards spreadsheets right? That's super normal...) I only managed to watch 16 out of the 62 nominated films. SIXTEEN! That's just shy of a quarter of the nominated films. This year I was DETERMINED to succeed where I'd failed so miserably last year. I'm happy to report that with just over 48 hours until the ceremony starts I only have four movies left to watch. 

How did I do this? Well, it started in December, when I had the most chill of Christmas holidays, staying in the Lower Mainland instead of heading up to Prince George to visit my family. I watched 12 movies, all of which save one are now nominated for a little gold man on Sunday, so that really helped. However, when we were still 40 days out from the ceremony I had 40 movies I still had to watch, so I went into movie-watching overdrive, trying track down every nominated film I possibly could. The four I now have left are two foreign language films and two 'mainstream' movies that have one acting nomination each. 

Despite only getting around to seeing 16 of the nominated films last year, I think this year's crop of nominees are more 'watchable'. I don't know if it's a sign that the Academy is finally getting with the times and nominating less snooty films, or that those films are becoming more 'mainstream', or what, but for the most part, my movie watching over the last 2 months has been a pleasure. Sure, there have been a few films that were a bit more intense than the fare I'd usually choose to watch, but overall, it's been a joy to really immerse myself in the nominees this year. Mostly, it reminds me of how much I enjoy film, be they big or small, epics or love stories, I love getting lost in the dark for a few hours, surrounded by strangers who are doing the same. 

There are a few categories where things seemed to be locked down (best director and actress) but apart from that I think this may be one of the tightest Oscar races in recent memory, all of the films are that good. My favourites of the nominated films are, in no particular order, The Shape of Water, Call Me By Your Name, Get Out, Faces Places, and Lady Bird. 

Check out the nominees here, and follow me on Twitter @awestaway on Sunday to see how I do with my picks! 

If you're looking for a way to escape the haze and the heat this weekend, I have a few tips:

• Tip #1 DO NOT go see Valerian. It's a trap. While it is visually lovely, and has some nice moments, overall it's a bit of a mess, with a completely unbelievable relationship and some awful dialogue thrown in on the side. (If you really want some Luc Besson in your life, stay at home and watch The Fifth Element instead),
• Tip #2 DO NOT see The Emoji Movie. I haven't seen this one, but if this tweet is anything to go by, I'm definitely better off. If your kids try to do the same, maybe convince them to stay home and watch Moana and Zootopia on Netflix instead.

• Tip #3 definitely go see War for the Planet of the Apes, it's a completely satisfying ending to the new Apes trilogy. (and manages to neatly tie itself to the 1968 original)

If you haven't seen Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011) or Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014) I would highly recommend that you see them, not just because you'll understand more of what's going on in War for the Planet of the Apes, but also because they're genuinely good films. I was a little reticent when Rise came out in 2011, I still had the bad taste of the 2001 Tim Burton/Mark Wahlberg version in my mouth, so much so that I didn't see it in theatres. After having several friends (with respectable movie taste) mentioned how good it was, I watched it when it came out on DVD (remember DVDs?) and was pleasantly surprised.

One of the best things that these new films has done is shift the focus from the humans to the apes. It lets the films hold up a mirror to human society, and what it shows isn't reflection we should ever be proud of. The apes, trying to build a peaceful society away from the humans, continue to be hunted and feared by the human population. After a devastating attack on their home, Caesar (the absolutely amazing Andy Serkis, who should win all the awards for his motion capture work) sends the apes off to find a new home, while he heads off to launch a one-ape assault on the Colonel (Woody Harrelson) and the soldiers who killed so many of his people. While there is actual conflict in the film, a lot of the 'war' is internal, as Caesar's animal and rational sides battle for dominance. Let me reiterate here how amazing Andy Serkis is as Caesar here. This is a completely CGI character, but the performance that Serkis gives through all that technology is nuanced and oftentimes heartbreaking. This is a character who came to prominence through conflict, and wanted nothing more than to live out the rest of his life in peace with his family - instead he's pulled into conflict all over again. All of that comes across perfectly in the performance, a better performance than you get in a LOT of films these days.

Do yourself a favour and see War for the Planet of the Apes, and then if you really feel like you 'have to' (you don't) go ahead and re-watch (or watch for the first time) Planet of the Apes starring Charlton Heston from 1968 and see just how far science fiction films have come from the late 1960s. It's a long way folks, a long LONG way.